Thursday, November 22, 2012

Let's Build a Pipeline!!

by Dave Cottrell

Controversy has raged across North America for the last few years, throughout both Canada and the United States, over proposed pipelines that would move bitumen from the Alberta, Canada "Tar Sands" to oil refineries on the Gulf of Mexico and/or in Asia.

After much loud protest, with an election on the horizon in the US, President Obama put at least a temporary halt to the line going to the Gulf of Mexico.

Up went the heat on the government of Canada to grant approval for a pipeline from Alberta to Asia....

Hmmmm.... Do I see a couple of minor problems with that idea?

How about.... two mountain ranges?  Ah... no problem!  Dig her deep and forget about it.... yeah, ok....

How about... lakes, streams, rivers, grasslands, forest lands and let's not forget to add in deep frost and earthquakes...  NO problem.  They figured out how to deal with that stuff a LOOOOOONG time ago... right?

Um... this IS Enbridge we're talking about, right?

Well, they'll clean up their act for this one.  Where's the trust?  Hey, where's the love?  Can't you just picture how cozy a nice pile of money is to cuddle up to?

Uh... where were we...?  Oh, yeah.... streams, rivers... RIVERS!!  The Skeena River!  Run her right along the river for a couple of hundred miles... maybe even put it UNDER the river for a couple of hundred miles before we veer off for Kitimat...  hmmmm.....

NOOOOO PROBLEM!  And if it ruptures under the Skeena, there's enough volume to clean her right out in a hurry, right out to sea.  The solution to pollution is dilution, right?

So... Kitimat. Yes, land of the deep snow.  End of the Douglas Channel.  Just look at the Enbridge maps on the model.  Clear, straight, deep sailing, right out to Asia.  Right?

Say, who put these pesky islands on this Google map of Douglas Channel?  What are all these other pesky islands out in front of Douglas Channel?  Is Google in cahoots with all those protesters trying to stop progress?  The very nerve!

Say, let's get this pipeline built and start sailing the high seas from Kitimat to Asia!  (Money, money, money... it's rich man's world...)

Nothing could possibly go wrong.  We have the technology.  Not even HUMAN ERROR can get in the way....

....and if you believe that, I have a nice,barely used ferry to sell you... uh... right at the bottom of Wright Sound in the inside passage... uh... same general area the tankers would travel...

But a tanker would NEVER hit a rock or an island, would it?  I mean... that would be awful messy, wouldn't it?

But, hey, it's only water, right?

Hey, how about a little Abba?  It's a rich man's world:

1 comment:

Wanda said...

LOVE it!!!
The idea is so absurd, that it is almost funny!
If they care so much about money, why can't they see the value that we the land, the sea, and everything in between? It really is a rich man's world. You hit the nail on the head.